Monday, May 4, 2009

In the Eye of the Storm

The unthinkable has happened. A friend of mine has experienced a devastating loss, and I am just so heartbroken for her. I honestly cannot begin to understand the depth of her grief right now, and I hate that I am unable to help her. Only she can walk out this painful journey, along with her husband and family.

I spent the weekend teetering between feelings of excitement, guilt, and deep sympathy. My girls' birthday was yesterday and I was so excited about them attending their first ever tea party. Then, I would think about and pray about my friend's situation and feel guilty that I had that fleeting moment of excitement about my girls' party while my sweet friend was making arrangements for her child's homegoing.

Sometimes life is just HARD.

I know that the Bible says that God's ways are not our ways and His thoughts are not our thoughts (Luke 55:8), but trying to trust his plan even when you cannot trace them is such a hard thing to do. How do you, in the midst of tragedy, sit back and just ride? I know that THAT is what true faith and trust in God is all about-- praising him in the midst of our storms and giving him glory in the midst of tragedy. Faith. Trust. Learning to just... ride.

One of my favorite scriptures is Luke 12:48: "To whom much is given, much is required." But I wonder if the converse is also true? Is it then true that upon the one who experiences great tragedy, God bestows great anointing?

I'm going to think about that for awhile.

2 comments:

Amy said...

Oh, Undrea. You shouldn't feel guilty about being excited for your girls. They're your babies. I'll never understand why mine was taken from me, but I would never ask others to stop celebrating their own.
Thank you for being here for me. I means so much. I don't know that I'll ever be ok, but I'm trying. I still have Aidan.

ThinkingPrincess said...

You know I'm praying so hard for you. I love you and am here if you need anything at all.

Give sweet Aidan a big hug and kiss for me, and give yourself a big hug from me, too. (No kiss, though, 'cause that's just creepy!) LOL!