My Top Ten For a Lasting Marriage

Marriage is good. Really good. But it is work. Like a great garden, a marriage relationship is only as good as the time you spend cultivating the soil and tilling the land. Without the right amount of care, it will, before long, be overrun by unsightly weeds.

A friend recently asked me about marriage, specifically, what it is that keeps a marriage going. What makes a good marriage great? Well, I thought about it and thought some more and came up with my top ten (in no particular order). Here goes:

My Top Ten Keys To a Successful Marriage

1. Pray together at least once a day.
2. Have date night with your spouse once a week or, at the very least, twice per month. (And don't forget to hold hands!)
3. Try to keep your finger on the pulse of your relationship. If it needs a tune up or a recharge, do it immediately.
4. Remember that you two are a team, even through the inevitable adjustments from combining things "mine" and "yours". Talk about money, set joint financial goals, and don't "hide" money.
5. Never, never, never go to bed angry if you can help it. Since tomorrow is not promised, make every effort to come to some sort of resolution. Stated more clearly, be willing to be the first to apologize (no matter who started it). Then forgive, forgive, forgive... and mean it.
6. When things get rocky, as they sometimes do, remember what you love about your spouse today and look for it in them during those tough moments.
7. Make it a habit to look for at least one good thing that your spouse does that you can sincerely compliment him on or tell him you appreciate. Even if it's as small as telling him he smells nice after he gets out of the shower. Bottom line: Keep him feeling good about himself and he will give you the moon.
8. Never bring up past hurts or problems that your relationship has moved on from, especially not in the middle of an argument. That's also not the time to say ugly, hurtful things about his mama (even if she is fat, bald, snaggle-toothed, or country).
9. Don't allow yourself to get too tired or too busy to act silly sometimes. Laughter is the best medicine, especially in marriage.
10. Support his dreams and goals even if you think his idea will not work. If it does fail, he will love you for being in his corner without saying, "I told you so."