Stupid Black Men

That's the title of the new book by Larry Elder. Do you remember him? He has a conservative radio program based out of LA, but also used to be the "judge" on the show, "Moral Court". The title is a bit of a misnomer, though, because the book is not specifically targeting black men, but could actually be applied to people of all racial backgrounds and both genders.

I have to say that I originally selected the book because of the title. I mean, here was an obviously black man calling other black men stupid. What was really going on? I couldn't wait to get home to read it. In a nutshell, it talked about the ways media outlets, talking heads such as Jesse and Al, et al have gotten black people in a place of complacency. To the point that many black people think they are entitled to something in life simply for being black and not for working hard. Okay, I see that mentality while working as an educator. He also goes on to make the point that not everything is racial. I agree with that, too.

Overall, I admit to liking this book. I agree with most of the points he made, but then again, I am also a pretty conservative thinker. I still don't get the whole title thing, but I guess that's part of the genius here. It certainly catches attention and causes it to stand out among all of the new releases.

The Obamas

Was it just me, or did anyone else like the interview with the Obama family that aired last week? They seemed so down to earth and NORMAL. You can tell they are new to all of this because they still are seemingly normal people sans a stick up their butts. How refreshing is that!

Conspiracy Theories

There is a buzz afoot about impeaching the current administration. Many people cite the "lie" about I.raq having weapons. of. mass. destruction when they really had none. Hmmm. You might think that's a valid solution to today's problem, and I won't entertain the arguments for or against too much right now, but I do think the logic behind this is a little faulty. For one, I actually believe they DID/STILL DO have them.

I know what you're thinking, but go with me on this one a minute.

First, why WOULDN'T they have them? Remember when I.raq was at war with I.ran? At the time, I.ran was our public enemy number one, right? So, if you have two countries at war-- one of those being our enemy of the day-- why wouldn't we have taken steps to support them with arms? You know the saying: "An enemy of my enemy is my friend."

Call me a conspiracy theorist, but I believe they had them and they got them from us. Fast forward to today. If you have an administration justifying a war, they can't very well say, "We're going to go over Country X and strip them of all the W.M.D.'s they have that we sold to them, and we're going to need you all to finance it." No, that wouldn't go over very well. Not at all.

Instead, there had to be another way around it. How about this: give the U.N. inspectors months and months to fart around while being blocked at the gates, particularly after a leader of a country stated they'd allow them in. Hmmmm. Did it occur to no one that they may have been using that time to hide them or even move them into S.yria? I heard on alternative radio reports of satellite images of convoys going into S.yria, but that info never made mainstream media for some reason (Ha!) and was seemingly forgotten. So, of course none were found. They had months to move them! Since the inspectors couldn't get in for those months and months, we could justify defiance and probable guilt. Ding!Ding!Ding! Instant support to go over and do what we really wanted to do, even though we knew we'd have to deal with the W.M.D. problem later. Eventually, it would blow over as so many other things had in previous administrations. Yeah, right!

I think that, more than anything, this administration is guilty of groupthink similar to what happened with the Bay of Pigs incident. No one close to the president was willing to say, "Hey, this is not a good idea" or "With all due respect, you're forgetting to look at this." Oh, well, one person was--Colin Powell-- and he had to G-O... with the quickness. Instead, it looks like we have a lot of yes men (and women) in Washington who are saying, "Yeah, looking good. Oh, we can deal with all that after the fact." Yeah, well, welcome to today's problems. Thanks a lot!

Confession Time

I have a confession to make.

Ssshh! Come closer!

I'm going to vote for Barack Obama.

I know, I know. If you know me at all you're wondering what happened to turn this staunchly conservative chick into "one of them." Well, first and foremost, I am still conservative in my thinking. I just don't like dirty politics.

From the beginning of all this, my guy was Mike Huckabee. He matched my views on pretty much everything. Had he been the presumptive Republican nominee, he would've been my guy. Sorry to any Obama supporters. It is what it is.

Now don't get me wrong. I am not jumping headlong onto the Democratic bandwagon; no, not by a long shot. I still am for privatizing Social Security and the definition of marriage being one man and one woman. I also think abortion is wrong and immoral, although I don't believe in legislating morality. I am all for conservative principles. I just can't bring myself to even fathom the idea of John McCain. I. just. can't. Besides, he creeps me out. He looks like he is a comic strip character. And those short arms. Eeewww. Other than the physical, I do not like that he tends to be a more "liberal" Republican. Either be liberal or be conservative, will ya! Plus, I'm just so disappointed in our current administration that anyone who is even closely related makes me cringe.

I will admit it. I voted for "W" twice. The first time was to avoid having Al Gore and the second was because John Kerry seemed to be willing to give away the farm in an attempt to make friends out of people who have no intention of being friends. A great way to get a hug and a stake in your back at the same time, JK. No, thank you. I was willing to take my chances with the "dumb" guy. True, "W" was not even close to my ideal candidate, but he did have the "crazy" factor that we all needed after 9/11. *sigh*

The N- Word

It never ceases to amaze me just how much power one word can hold. The N-word, as it's now politically correct to call it, is one word that can be a term of endearment for some and prelude to a fight for others. The older I get, the more it is getting to be just a word. Perhaps it's because I recognize that it only holds power because we choose to give our power over to it and to the users of it.

I have this ongoing joke with my colleagues that I don't mind being called the word. I've been called it may times before, and I will probably be called it many, many more times before I leave this world. I refuse to give any person that much power over my emotions. Instead, I respond in a much more sinister fashion: I sear my black image right into their brains! If you really want to piss a racist off, just do what I've been known to do on occasion: follow their butts around and relentlessly share with them the history of the word. Draw it all out so that it takes at least ten minutes. When they move away, you move with them, but don't stop talking. I do it so sweetly that, to the casual observer, it looks as if I'm just a nice lady taking the time to drop some knowledge on some poorly educated schmuck. Will it change a racist's views? Probably not; but that's not the point in the first place. It pisses them off and transfers that negative energy back onto them. The next time they make a decision to call someone by the word, they will be reminded of you and the unpleasant experience they had when they said it to you. They still may say it, but you will surely be one n- word that they won't soon forget. But that's just me and the way I think. Of course, this may not work for everyone. Some racists may decide to get mad that the negative energy has been transferred and want to engage in a little fisticuffs. In that case, handle your business. Then, drop the knowledge on them while you have them in a headlock. Just before you either walk away or release them from a headlock, you should probably give them the proverbial gut punch by saying, "I know you didn't want to hear all of this, but I want to make sure that the next time you decide to use big words, you will at least know the whole meaning behind one of them and won't sound like such an ignorant ass!" Then smile and wish them a good day.

Write the Vision

The Bible instructs us to "write the vision and make it plain." Yes, I understand that it is talking about writing down prophetic visions, but studies show that we are more likely to follow through on our goals if we write them down. Memories are forgotten over time, but when we put our dreams into writing, they become much more than thoughts. They become real, tangible.

For a long time-- much longer than I care to mention-- I've considered writing a book. I am the consummate storyteller. Not a story teller as in liar, but someone who knows how to deliver a good tale. The thing that makes my stories seem so fascinating to people is that they are actually TRUE! I guess truth really is stranger than fiction.

I always thought I'd write non-fiction first. I have thought of chronicling my many years of struggling with infertility, and the events that finally led to me receiving my miracles (in the form of twins). I also thought about writing a book of encouragement for people struggling through it right now. I wanted to use short case studies of the many people I know who are currently going through and/or have gone through their own fertility challenges. I wanted to record the paths they took to either see the fulfillment of their dreams, make the decision to keep trying, or make the painful choice to walk away from treatment and forge a different path. Or I could write a book retelling hilarious (and sometimes shocking) events I witnessed during the time I worked for a local law enforcement agency. And I can't forget the gazillion noteworthy moments that are forever etched into my brain from being an educator. The reality is that I have lots of stories to tell. Still, I often hear myself saying, "Oh, I'll do that someday" and go on about my business. Someday has always seemed a long way off.

Or so I thought.

While I was writing the post about salience yesterday, I had originally recounted an experience I had when we first moved from the city to the suburbs. After typing it, I instantly knew that the story was meant to be the beginning of my book. I am going to write a semi-autobiographical novel. It will be fiction, but based upon true events.

I am writing the vision. I am the Thinking Princess, and I am going to write a novel. I am going to write a novel. I AM GOING TO WRITE A NOVEL. My someday begins today.

What ever happened to service?

I got my first job when I was in the 11th grade. I had just turned 15. After months of going job hunting (well, more like application collecting), my mother convinced me to stop at the Wendy's restaurant across the street from the local mall. The area was pretty nice and the people had money to spend. I got interviewed and hired on the spot. When I reported to work the next day, I had this image in my mind of being trained to cook french fries since, as everybody knows, if you're the low man (or woman!) on the totem pole, you've gotta start on fries. Well, not so! My manager spent the whole first half of my day, it seems, on teaching good customer service. How to greet the customers, how to handle certain situations, what to say, what not to say-- you get the picture. It was so important, because that particular restaurant used to always win awards for great service, and, after all, it was a good area filled with people who had money to spend and who expected good service. This training was especially good for me because I grew up with a mother who tended to be tactless. I often told her about it and asked her to try to use more tact in dealing with situations. Her response?

So, when I'm on my deathbed and I can't say I love you, remember it's because you had me spending all that extra breath being tactful, alright?

Now, Mama wasn't just a little bit tactless. Oh, no. She took tactless to a whole different level. On one occasion, a person with bad breath came up to speak with her. Instead of grinning and bearing it, as many people would have, Mama held up her hand to stop the guy. She then did the unthinkable. She reached into her purse for a stick of chewing gum. She said, "Baby, before you say anything else to me, chew on this." The obviously embarrassed guy took the gum and chewed it. To his credit (and what could only have been a serious desire to sell his product), he went on giving his spiel. Mama listened, but still didn't buy whatever it was he was selling, if I remember correctly.

Do you see why the customer service training I received at Wendy's was so vital?

Little did I know at the time, but that training on customer care still resonates for me today. I noticed that some customers came to the restaurant several times per week. One older Jaguar-driving man used to come by every day. He would order food on some occasions and only a drink on others. He always paid with a $20 and always told me (or whoever worked the drive- thru register) to keep the change. One day I mustered up the courage to mention the fact that he came every day. His response was that he liked to spend his money where he received good service. That response has stayed with me the twenty or so years that I've been gone from Wendy's.

You see, since I learned how to give good service, I also, by extension, came to recognize it when I saw it. Ultimately, I came to expect good service and was willing to spend my dollars in places where I received it. Even if it meant paying more. I always try to fill out customer comments cards and I frequently ask to speak with the managers of restaurants, especially if I received great service. There is nothing like seeing the manager's face as he tries to read you to see just how unhappy or dissatisfied you might be before approaching you. I love to see the change in features as they hear of the glowing report of an employee's high level of customer care, knowing that they were expecting a berating.

So, if we know that good service breeds repeat customers and, consequently, increased revenue for a business, then what has caused such a disconnect today? I go to places nowadays and am appalled by the lack of customer care I see. Is it the fault of business schools? Are managers not stressing service? Do employees just not care? Is this a societal issue? It's not just restaurants, either. I see a decline in service across the board -- from retail to medical industries. What went wrong in the service department, and how do we fix it?

I guess this is on my mind because I have received the worst service ever from my phone/TV/Internet provider. Hey, I pay them good money every month and expect better. Instead of them coming right out to fix the problem, I received broken appointments, one incompetent repairman, more broken appointments, and another repair person who outright lied and said he came to my home to fix the problem and waited 45 minutes, but we were not home. That was a real deal-breaker for me. It wasn't until I called for the seventh time and expressed to them that I would be finding better service with another company posthaste did they happen to send out a completely competent and thorough repairman. He even gave me the direct phone number and email address to the person I really should be calling to lodge my complaint, instead of calling the 1-800 number I was given over the phone. I'm still seriously considering changing providers, but the last guy gave me OUTSTANDING customer service, which appeased me (a little). It's amazing how far one person's decision to provide stellar customer care goes toward repairing a breach. Why don't companies today understand this?

Salience

A flickering light on a telephone to indicate new messages. A red dot in a sea of white. One black person's entrance into a room filled with people of other races. Salience. The quality of being different from the things around you. The one thing that poses the starkest contrast among surrounding items. Salience.

I first heard this term in a psychology class and immediately knew it would become one of my favorites. The professor said something to the effect that the item that is the most different holds the most power. Wow. I remember thinking, "Where do I get some of that stuff?" The truth is, I had it and never even knew it.

One person I knew from school used to say that her parents' major piece of advice for her was to always stand up and stand out. Mama just used to say to not just be different, but be the best. I wonder if the parents of our generation knew the word 'salient,' or if they just knew of the hope of salience. It's a great concept that is so simple, yet so profound.

Stand out. Be different. Be the best.

I look back on things now and recognize moments of being truly salient. Moments of being truly powerful. It's also in those moments that people have seen me and taken an instant dislike. They'd tell me later, "When I first saw you, I couldn't stand you. You acted like you thought you were better than everyone else." My response is always the same. "No, you noticed something different about me and YOU thought I was better. Now you know I'm just like everybody else."

Why do I add that last part to my response? I think most of it is to neutralize the truth of the first part.

We go through life trying to prove to others (and maybe to ourselves) that we are different from those people. The blanks can be filled in with so many words. Those Blacks. Those women. Those students. Those employees. Then, we spend the remainder of our time trying to prove to those people that we are just like everyone else. No wonder we live in a confused world! What is so wrong with being different anyway? Why ever should I apologize for possessing something powerful? It's like a person apologizing for having wealth.

I watched the movie, "Akeelah and the Bee" for the 1,000th time last night. The Marianne Williamson quote came back to me again.

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.

It is our Light, not our Darkness, that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you NOT to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightening about shrinking so that other people won't feel unsure around you. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It is not just in some of us; it is in everyone. As we let our own Light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.

Here is my pledge to myself: Each day I will choose to be BETTER than the day before. In all things. If being better means being different, so be it. I will continue to walk into a room with grace and confidence. (My friend, Monica, calls it keeping your stride stank.) If I stand out, great. I will have obtained a moment of power, and that's the whole point.

And so it begins

I never really thought about blogging. I have a few friends who do. One is very good about updating and has a loyal following. I'm not really sure what I want this blog to be--either a daily place for me to rant and muse or a place chock full of intellectual thought. I guess it will be what it is to be.

I've decided to call myself The Thinking Princess (more about that later!), and I originally thought to call this small corner of the 'Net "The Thinking Woman's Guide to the World." However, I don't know if I'm really ready to guide anyone anywhere. I do so much of that throughout the year--guiding, that is. I'm a teacher. A really good teacher. I'm not being boastful. It is what it is. I am a REALLY GOOD TEACHER.

Still, I'm not satisfied. I want to be better. Always better. Always the best.

Perhaps that's why I'm taking to blogging. Perhaps it's an outlet I need... a place to think. A place to ponder the events of the day. A place to go to just BE without having to be the good teacher who is never satisfied.