Inside Out, Part II

Me: Yes?!!! What do you mean, 'Yes'? You are seriously trying to kill me?
Him: You said, "More of You and less of me, God." More of Me means getting rid of you.
Me: So you mean I will have NO life?
Him: More of Me means less of you. You choose your life.

Let me stop here to say that I was still a fairly new Christian at the time. Yes, I went to the occasional service growing up, and I attended catechism classes, but I was never really encouraged to read the Bible for myself or to develop a relationship with God for myself until I went into the Army and saw some new things. So there in Leesville, LA, I had a choice to make. I'd like to say I completely sold out to God and have been serving Him faithfully ever since. That would be a lie, though. The truth is, I did gain more of the Lord. Much more; but I also chose to keep some of the "me" He was willing to remove. In the end, I settled for a relationship with a man that was less than God's best for me. I know this because, although we both appeared to be serving the Lord, the commitment did not last. Instead, within several months, I began to see my new husband's violent side and knew that it was just a matter of time before the verbal and emotional abuse I suffered would turn physical. Thankfully, when I prayed for an out, the Lord provided me with one, and I was able to break free.

However, how different could my life have been had I truly trusted God and waited for Him to complete the work He started in me the first time?

I wish I could say I totally sold out for God even after the wedding debacle. Oh, I had periods where I was on fire for the Lord, serving Him with gladness and really growing in Him by leaps and bounds. I sang for the Lord, I worked with God's children, I had a robust prayer life. However, I still continued to have one foot in Heaven and the other in the world. In fact, I often sought my own way and, before too many years had passed, found myself back in a situation where I again settled for "good enough." But then again, there should have been no surprise there because I did not choose the BEST CHOICE as my first choice in the first place.

Fast forward to 2013.

Pt III tomorrow...